Saturday, January 30, 2010


I just wanted to let everyone know that my sonogram was canceled on Friday due to the bad weather...AKA...blizzard that we had at the end of the week! BUMMER! Anyways, I am supposed to call first thing on Monday morning to reschedule so hopefully I will get in sometime at the beginning of the week...keeping my fingers crossed!

I don't even know if anyone is followng my blog but if you are...I hated to keep you hanging through the weekend wondering what was going on! I would have posted this yesterday but we have been a bit busy around here...the whole city shut down due to the weather and we couldn't even get my Tahoe out of the driveway...needless to say, we were seriously SNOWED IN! That didn't stop us from getting out tho...we spent the day sledding, playing on the four wheeler and frolicking in the snow! What a wonderful thing to keep my mind off of the baby situation!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend! I am off to watch Miss America!


Wednesday, January 27, 2010


So my sonogram got moved up to this Friday...that's right...THIS FRIDAY! I have mixed emotions about it though...I want to know what the outcome is going to be but I am worried about what that outcome might be. I am beside myself right now...

And not to mention...we are expecting the biggest snow storm in TEN years tomorrow! I went to the store today and stocked the fridge, freezer and pantry in case we can't get out for a few days. And that worries me too...what if I can't make it to the sonogram bacause of the weather...oh the agony of having to wait over the weekend and who knows how long next week!

Okay, I feel better now! I am going to rest, watch my shows on DVR while Lily sleeps and eat some chocolate covered pretzels!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

One down and one to go!

So tomorrow will be one week since my last sonogram...and unfortunately I have one more week to go before I can find anything out. The past week has definitely gone by faster than I thought it would be I have had my "ups and downs". I find myself constantly looking at the calendar and going over my dates, looking on the internet for stories similar to mine that have a good outcome and praying that the baby is already flipping around with a strong heart! I try to keep my mind off of it but it is just about impossible! I am trying to fill my days with reading books to Lily, puzzles and building with Kiley, keeping the house picked up and keeping good food in our tummies!!

Kiley starts gymnastics tomorrow and has school on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I am helping host a baby shower on Saturday for a good friend who is expecting a boy in March and we will have dinner at my in-laws on Sunday night so hopefully this next week will fly by quickly without too many emotional days...those are super draining!

Thanks again for all the prayers...I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

From my heart!

Things have been such a whirlwind lately. We had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! We celebrated my sweet Kiley's fifth birthday on January 6 and my husband turned 32 on January 17! In the middle of all of this, Josh and I found out that I was pregnant...SUPRISE! We had discussed having another baby but we were in no way trying to get pregnant. Evidentally God's plan previals and His timing is not ours! Once the shock wore off, Josh and I were so excited at the thought of having another baby! We told the girls and Kiley was ecstatic! She kept telling Lily that she was going to be a big sister just like her! My girls really melt my heart...they are just so precious!

I started having some cramping and low back pain but didn't think too much about it since I was not bleeding. I called the doctor to see if it was normal and they wanted me to come in for a sonogram to make sure I wasn't having a tubal pregnancy. What happened next I was not prepared for. This is my third pregnancy so I know what to look for on the screen during a sonogram. I saw a black hole (gestational sac) with only a tiny dot inside...what the nurse called an "unidentifiable spot". According to how far I think I should be...I would have been 6 to 7 weeks but according to the measurements and the fact that there was no baby or heartbeat I was only between 4 and 5 weeks. I seriously thought I was going to pass out...i just knew something didn't look right. I was told that either my dates are wrong or that the baby was not developing and that I am going to lose the pregnancy. I lost it...I did. My first thoughts were "how do we find out"..."what needs to be done"..."I need an answer NOW"!! I was told that only time can tell and to come back in two weeks for another sonogram and hopefully my dates are off and at that point we should be able to see a yolk sac and hopefully a heartbeat. TWO WEEKS...are you kidding me! They said that cramping can sometimes be a warning sign and that I need to take it easy, drink a lot of water and rest...with TWO kids!

I went home that evening and cried and cried and cried! I can't even grasp the reality that my baby may not make it. I begged and pleaded with God to heal the baby and let this be a normal pregnancy. I am praying with all of my heart that my dates are off and that the next sonogram will show a healthy pregnancy. I am trying to think positive but I also know in the back of my mind that something could be wrong. I have never felt so helpless in my life...this is something I have no control over and all I want is for the baby to be okay. I have had to give this completely to God...afterall...He is the one kniting this sweet baby inside of me!

Please be praying for Josh and I and the baby! We are in desperate need of strength and peace as we wait to find out what the outcome will be. I hesitated sharing this with anyone but the way I see it...the more people praying the better! Thank you so much!

These are a few verses that have been in my mind constantly the last few days:

Psalm 139:13-14
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

1 Samuel 1:27
"I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him"

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."

Ephesians 3:20
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..."

Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart"

Psalm 18:2
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and my salvation, my stronghold."